i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
