OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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