it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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