we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
