We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
