Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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