it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.