Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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(214): View more from Texas

The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?

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(407): View more from Florida

I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet

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(813): View more from Florida

Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule

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