I think my vagina is haunted
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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