I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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