what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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