i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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