I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Couch. On fire.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
