Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize