he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
