She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
50% drunk capacity currently
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
