so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
