my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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