she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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