If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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