Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
