you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
