What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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