Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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