I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
