You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
