Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
