So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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