i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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