girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
