the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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