"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
