is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
