I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
