I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
