When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
