she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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