They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
