All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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