And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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