Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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