my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
