By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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