Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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