broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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