Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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