just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
