For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.