he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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