Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
