Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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