She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
