I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
