I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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