I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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