Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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