he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
