They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
