Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
