the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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