i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
