I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize