lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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