One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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